John's Dilemma

John has spent a bit of time out of the office the past few days. It is apparent what is going on as his face has been swollen like a balloon for days. He has had visits to dentists and subsequently, the doctor and no one could figure out what was going on until today.

John has a conjoined twin. This fetus has sat dormant for John’s life, implanted in his cheek, and for some unexplainable reason; it is finally becoming “active”. This is nothing to laugh at and is not a subject solely for cartoon sitcoms. It is not an uncommon problem but it is a little odd that is has manifested itself in the facial area.

Some doctor’s have surmised that similar conditions are psychologically related that the "minor twin" begins growth as manifestation of a "host's" drammatic loss of a close friend or lover. In this case, it is obvious that John is suffering from the departure of Pete from our office on a level that many of us just can’t understand. True, he has been a little “down” lately but none of us would have suspected just how close Pete and John were.

Due to the severity of the situation, John is currently undergoing “removal” of the twin. After removal, a drain will be placed through John’s cheek, followed by minor cosmetic surgery to disguise that drain as a mole. Pro-life activists are already getting wind of the removal process and have started picketing the office. If you ask me, they are getting carried away. I hope things don’t get out of hand. If only they could understand John’s pain.