Some say that most of the latest injuries are due to the stress of recent economic conditions. Others believe that maybe we’ve just pushed the physical gymnastics taken to achieve architectural inspiration one step too far. This argument is buoyed by the reports last week that Frank Ghery, in the act of crumbling taped together pieces of newspaper in the design for the new Anchorage Daily News Building, developed Mallet Finger. “It was the size of the paper”, Ghery noted. “I’ve done this millions of times with notebook sheets, 11x17, and even newspaper but to achieve the right look for such a prestigious paper, I needed something bigger. I went too far”. Three fingers were rendered helpless by the act.
The diagnosis is still undetermined in another crippling injury; one that could not have come at a worse time. While arguing his point about how the State Hermitage Museum absolutely must hire him for the project because they deserved one of his great buildings, Daniel Leibeskind suffered a series of tongue spasms. ”At the moment he was explaining how a free irrotational vortex geometry creates a series of asymmetric, yet computable and predictable arcs, and mimic the classical corinthian detailing and thus relate to the existing building yet point towards a less predictable and more sophisticated future, he was rendered speechless“ his assistant Hans Hanneman explained. Leibeskind’s staff was in tears as they each relayed their account of the harrowing experience.
Finally, no injury is more shocking than the intense photosensitivity that has plagued not only head architect, Richard Meier but most of his staff. ”I will not relent, they must be white so if I have to work only at night, so be it. If I have to resort to a pinhole projector to view my creations, I will“, said Meier wearing a fashionable pair of custom-made Hilfiger sunglasses. The affliction took place while Meier and his staff were enjoying a cocktail party Meier held at newly completed private residence at an undisclosed location in Florida. ”I brought them there to congratulate everyone for a job well done“, exclaimed a visibly upset Meier. ”It was just too sunny that day.“ Two catering workers were also injured.
The complete list of this years injuries are as follows:
Out
Frank Ghery, mallet finger
Daniel Leibeskind, tongue spasms
Doubtful
Rem Koolhas, constant state of jet lag
Renzio Piano, acute art-phobia
Questionable
Richard Meier, photosensitivity
Santiago Calatrava, vertigo
