Thursday, February 28, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Top Ten Reasons Why a Lesbian Sex Scene Between Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson Might Be a Bad Idea
In case you've been living under a rock or haven't been keeping track of erotic lesbian scenes between major film stars, we're here for you. In his upcoming film, Woody Allen will feature Penelope Cruz andScarlett Johansson in what he considers to be the "biggest erotic scene in movie history". This kind of film news just doen't get by the folks at LWoA.
At first glance, you might think that this is genius – a sure winner at any box office. Hey, if Heath and Jake can draw crowds doin' the nasty, then why can't two chicks? They may be right. Not since Neve Campbell and Denise Richards showed off their tremendous acting abilities in Wild Things (and the subsequent releases of Wild Things 2 and Wild Things 3) have we been so anxious about a film release.
Then again, is this too much of a good thing. The minute someone says "best" or "biggest", our synical side kicks in. After much careful consideration, we are starting to see some down sides to this idea. Here are 10 of them:
10. This is becoming "old hat" for Cruz. Between her music video stint and Head in the Clouds, shouldn't Cruz just give up her current career and go right into into lesbian porno.
At first glance, you might think that this is genius – a sure winner at any box office. Hey, if Heath and Jake can draw crowds doin' the nasty, then why can't two chicks? They may be right. Not since Neve Campbell and Denise Richards showed off their tremendous acting abilities in Wild Things (and the subsequent releases of Wild Things 2 and Wild Things 3) have we been so anxious about a film release.Then again, is this too much of a good thing. The minute someone says "best" or "biggest", our synical side kicks in. After much careful consideration, we are starting to see some down sides to this idea. Here are 10 of them:
10. This is becoming "old hat" for Cruz. Between her music video stint and Head in the Clouds, shouldn't Cruz just give up her current career and go right into into lesbian porno.
9. Do you honestly think they will get through the scene without whining or cracking a self-depricating joke?
8. Can you truly enjoy watching a lesbian sex scene including someone that slept with Tom Cruise?
7. We heard the scene will be in a photographic dark room, surely concealing all the "good stuff". A pool or sauna with lots of daylight is always best.
6. You have to sit through a Woody Allen film to watch the scene.
5. They do another lesbian trist in the film with a guy in the scene. Why did he have to go and ruin it?
4. The scene is most likely too short.
3. People might call Woody Allen a pervert and will no longer take his films seriously.
2. Jessica Biel was not chosen for the Penelope Cruz role.
1. Actually, the casting is all wrong: with Jessica Biel in the Penelope Cruz role, cast Jessica Alba in the Scarlett Johansson role - or is that an entirely new film?
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Super Bowl
Only a group of architects would favor form over function in determining their squares in an office pool for the Super Bowl:
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