Update: New Orleans (shuffleboard with the ladies)

Well, I’m back here in Baghdad….I mean New Orleans. Things are going great down here, if you like mud, trash and a foul stench permeating everywhere. OK, so that is not so different from before K-day. Since returning to the fine city I have been drinking and wondering around aimlessly shouting at the roaches, which seem to have faired quite well while everyone was gone. Luckily the beer still flows and there is no shame in sitting on your stoop with a 40. Of course I’ve had no stoop to sit on being on a cruise ship for a few weeks. That was quite an adventure. You would not believe how crazy the 70 year old women are when you start playing shuffleboard. ‘Ol Betsy almost took my head off with the shuffle stick after I beat her a second time last Saturday. Why the hell would they put a deck full of retirees on our boat anyway? Luckily I will be moving out this week to this fine new apartment. I took a picture for all to enjoy. Looks good doesn’t it? There’s a little cleaning to be done, but I think it should be fine.
Well, I will have more to say later, right now I have a date with a spry 67 year old lady I met at the early bird special on deck 12. Maybe I’ll get lucky, but first I need a couple Pabst to loosen up.
One last thing, Stuart is right on with the Bareback review. That movie has been burned into my brain for weeks now. It really changed me…..I really miss Pete now.

-Steve the younger

Stuart Gives "Brokeback" a Two Thumbs Up!

BROKEN TEARS

A review of ‘Brokeback Mountain’
by Stuart Dickie

In Hollywood, there are few movies that appeal to me as a Briton. Very rarely is a movie produced that can relate to my sensibilities in a way only any movie based on ‘Pride and Prejudice’ can. Immediately, I found that ‘Brokeback Mountain’ could, and does, deliver that tour de force I have been looking for.

Heath Ledger, best known as a ‘Brother Grimm’ to the four people that saw that movie, delivers in his role as a gay cowboy, struggling through life with his wife and kids after a randy affair with fellow caballero, Jake Gyllenhall, best known as the brother of the girl who liked to get spanked in ‘Secretary.’ If anyone knows how hard life can be after a tête-à-tête with another man, it is me, Stuart Dickie.

At first, I thought America might shy away from this movie, even boycott it. In the end, though, art has ruled the day. Gay or straight, I highly recommend this movie. It can appeal to all race, class or creed. Michelle Williams delivers a powerful performance, portraying a wife constantly trying to hump her husband, only to have him constantly turn her away to sit by the window, wearing only his cowboy hat.

To be continued…

Why You Should See Brokeback Mountain

If it doesn't make you better understand Pete & John's relationship, it will at least let you join conversations like this one found on a movie blog (sounds like the movie is moving):

#1: I'm curious to see who has seen this film, and what your reaction is. I saw it Sunday (four days ago) and I still can't get it out of my head. It was so powerful and had a HUGE impact on me; unlike any other film I have ever seen. It's mind-boggling what it is doing to me. Anyone who's seen it, please let me know your thoughts.

#2: You said it made a huge impact on you--in what way? Can you elaborate on your thoughts? I haven't seen it yet, but I'm very curious about what others with an open mind might think about it. Thanks.

#1: I can’t be very specific without ruining the film for you. PLEASE go see it. Everyone should see this magnificent film; it is really making waves, everywhere. It is such a beautiful, moving, magnificent piece of art. You won't be disappointed and it will stay with you for a long time.

#2: Try telling that to the religion forum. :-)

#1: They’re the ones that need to see it the most. I have been corresponding with a self-labeled "conservative Christian" (via message boards in imdb.com) who was "coerced" into seeing this film, and he said it totally changed his mind and heart about gay people. He has vowed to challenge people whenever he hears anyone slam gays. Isn't that amazing? That is the power of this film. It is changing hearts and minds all over the world, and I've never seen anything like it in my life.

#2: Have you seen "Ned Kelly"? Another movie where Heath Ledger shines. He was also the son in Mel Gibson's "The Patriot."

#1: This is the only film I have seen Heath in and I am an instant fan. He is AMAZING and if he doesn't get a Best Actor Oscar out of this there is no justice. One doesn't just "see" this film; one EXPERIENCES it, and for a long time. It is so powerful and moving.

Fucking Robbed . . .

Well, hell of a welcome back to South Bend and a great way to kick off that last semester of school . . . let me tell you. I got a call Friday night from two of my roommates who had just gotten back to the house to find that it had been broken into, and any and all electronic devices, etc. (and pretty much anything else of significant monetary value) had been stolen. Bastards. So, needless to say, I spent most of the night on the phone with them and my other 2 roommates.

The brain surgeons that are the South Bend Police (shown here scratching head in disbelief) had a tough time lifting any prints, and also couldn't find any signs of forced entry . . . which makes it very suspicious to me. Only other person that we know has a key to our house is our landlord (in San Diego), and the maintenance guy, who's about 65, seems to be a nice guy, and generally seems harmless. He is a "townie" though, so you never really know.

As for my personal stuff - TV, Stereo, Fridge, DVD player (had the DVDs at home, thankfully), video game crap, camera, bike (which we all took ours out of the garage to keep them safe . . . haha . . . and even locked them to one of the steel columns in the basement) . . . all among the pricier things. For some reason, and thankfully, they didn't take all my architecture books . . . must not have thought they were interesting, when in actuality, they could have made a killing reselling those probably.

My one roommate also had his sketchbooks from Rome stolen . . . which is one of those losses that are irreplaceable. (See CPayne for first hand account.)

Well, more updates as we apprehend the criminals, discover the warehouse full of looted items, and keep the ball rolling on this semester's rocking start in the Bend.

The Dancing Queen . . .

In a fitting tribute to me on my last day at the office, Laura requested that we break a CD of her favorites to send me off in style. Coincidentally, her favorites coincided perfectly with Chris' Abba's Greatest Hits (even in the same order). Then Laura smiled and had a good laugh with all of us in the "annex." Good times at the office. I'm so glad to have Laura as a friend.

Here's a quick photoshop drawing she just did and asked that I include:

John's Dilemma

John has spent a bit of time out of the office the past few days. It is apparent what is going on as his face has been swollen like a balloon for days. He has had visits to dentists and subsequently, the doctor and no one could figure out what was going on until today.

John has a conjoined twin. This fetus has sat dormant for John’s life, implanted in his cheek, and for some unexplainable reason; it is finally becoming “active”. This is nothing to laugh at and is not a subject solely for cartoon sitcoms. It is not an uncommon problem but it is a little odd that is has manifested itself in the facial area.

Some doctor’s have surmised that similar conditions are psychologically related that the "minor twin" begins growth as manifestation of a "host's" drammatic loss of a close friend or lover. In this case, it is obvious that John is suffering from the departure of Pete from our office on a level that many of us just can’t understand. True, he has been a little “down” lately but none of us would have suspected just how close Pete and John were.

Due to the severity of the situation, John is currently undergoing “removal” of the twin. After removal, a drain will be placed through John’s cheek, followed by minor cosmetic surgery to disguise that drain as a mole. Pro-life activists are already getting wind of the removal process and have started picketing the office. If you ask me, they are getting carried away. I hope things don’t get out of hand. If only they could understand John’s pain.

The legend of "Peaches"

One day Michael came to work and walked his lunch directly to the kitchen. When he left the kitchen, he left with a single peach in his hand. Sherrette, who was washing her hands while Michael came in, came out of the bathroom and looked around the annex, tentatively asking, “Where’s my peach?” She obviously thought that the annex was playing a joke on her. Unfortunately, they had no clue what she was talking about.

Having noticed Michael walk through the annex on his way back from the kitchen, the members of the annex told Sherrette that she should check and see if he had her peach. She went to the front of the office and to Michael’s surprise, found her peach.

Michael immediately returned to the kitchen as he was sure he brought a peach to work. “I packed a peach this morning and put it on the table when I put my lunch in the fridge”, he remarked. An embarrassed Michael came from the kitchen after pulling a PEAR from his lunch bag and brought the pear back to his desk. From that day on, he has been known as “peaches”.

I hope you found this story as funny as we did when it actually happened. If you see this man coming, hide your peaches (from the looks of his desk, you should pretty much hide anything you don't want stolen).

Pete, Frolicking In The Wilderness, Checks In . . .

A little update on what Pete has been up to since he left us here at the office . . . We received a letter today with no return address, but it was signed, "Lovingly yours, Peter" (followed by excessive hearts & smiley faces). Enclosed in the envelope was the attached photo - Cowboy Pete & his new 'friends.' He says that they met one night amidst the sheep & under the stars at 'Brokeback Mountain,' and ever since, their lives together have been sheer bliss. This photo, however, was taken as they prepared for hijinks involving some rival cowboys, and he apologized that they weren't "wearing their happy faces."

He asked that we send his profound love to the office, and extended a personal invite out to John to come visit "the boys on the ranch" and take a ride with them into the sunset.