John's Dilemma

John has spent a bit of time out of the office the past few days. It is apparent what is going on as his face has been swollen like a balloon for days. He has had visits to dentists and subsequently, the doctor and no one could figure out what was going on until today.

John has a conjoined twin. This fetus has sat dormant for John’s life, implanted in his cheek, and for some unexplainable reason; it is finally becoming “active”. This is nothing to laugh at and is not a subject solely for cartoon sitcoms. It is not an uncommon problem but it is a little odd that is has manifested itself in the facial area.

Some doctor’s have surmised that similar conditions are psychologically related that the "minor twin" begins growth as manifestation of a "host's" drammatic loss of a close friend or lover. In this case, it is obvious that John is suffering from the departure of Pete from our office on a level that many of us just can’t understand. True, he has been a little “down” lately but none of us would have suspected just how close Pete and John were.

Due to the severity of the situation, John is currently undergoing “removal” of the twin. After removal, a drain will be placed through John’s cheek, followed by minor cosmetic surgery to disguise that drain as a mole. Pro-life activists are already getting wind of the removal process and have started picketing the office. If you ask me, they are getting carried away. I hope things don’t get out of hand. If only they could understand John’s pain.

Pete, Frolicking In The Wilderness, Checks In . . .

A little update on what Pete has been up to since he left us here at the office . . . We received a letter today with no return address, but it was signed, "Lovingly yours, Peter" (followed by excessive hearts & smiley faces). Enclosed in the envelope was the attached photo - Cowboy Pete & his new 'friends.' He says that they met one night amidst the sheep & under the stars at 'Brokeback Mountain,' and ever since, their lives together have been sheer bliss. This photo, however, was taken as they prepared for hijinks involving some rival cowboys, and he apologized that they weren't "wearing their happy faces."

He asked that we send his profound love to the office, and extended a personal invite out to John to come visit "the boys on the ranch" and take a ride with them into the sunset.

So Long Pete

This has been a week of uncomfortable celebration as we savor our last few days of working with Pete. Yep, you read it right, Pete is moving on to greener pastures and now someone else will be responsible for cleaning up his manure.

Steve, who has been filling in for Andy since he went off to school will now have more shoes to fill as he tries to fill in for Pete. Of course, Steve’s quality and quantity of work will have to diminish quite a bit to reach that goal. Perhaps a few Jager-Bombs before work may put him in the right frame of mind to work as hard as Pete did.

We have to admit that regardless of how much Pete did or didn’t contribute to the ongoing work at SGW, he was a source of endless entertainment. In addition to the mounds of work that he created for Steve the Younger, his unique methods of plan dimensioning will ensure SGW’s lifelong relationship with all of its clients as they attempt to build to Pete’s drawings. Pete’s actions were equally matched by his exuberant appearance. We will truly miss his flowing cape and magical T-square. Pete’s appearance brought an other-worldly flair to the office.

Many people have been seriously affected by Pete’s departure. Stuart started balling the minute he heard about Pete leaving and hasn’t stopped since. Other co-workers have resorted to binge drinking –the funnels in the back room are getting a bit out of hand. I am seriously worried about what will happen to the fragile chemistry that we have here at SGW once Pete is actually gone.

I am sure Pete is going to make the most of his new position – we all can’t wait to hear what his new title will be. For those that are interested, we have started interviewing (John and I) for someone to move into Pete’s seat. You have to already work at SGW, you must despise George Bush to the point it makes no sense, and you have to be willing to enter into random conversations on any subject at a moments notice.

-C.P.

Life Without Andy

The Nap Store realized by some jerk in Florida, Mall of America.

That's right, naysayers. The Nap Store aka MinneNAPolis aka the Power Nap Sleep Center exists or will soon. Google it yourself, ARut. Said jerk's implimentation includes themes and perhaps more appropriate markets then my original concept but we are almost dead on with pricing ideas. It turns out people will pay to take a nap if the facility is available. The Nap Store making the world a better place one sheep at a time.

You owe me five, Andy.

-Pete

Where's Andy?

It's truly quiet in the office today. Pete is at City Hall and Andy is... ...hmmm, where the hell is Andy? We set up this wonderful blog for him so that he could tune in at any moment and catch the excitement that is going on at SGW. We haven't heard from the bastard in months. O.K., it has only been a week in a half but it feels like months. Andy, if you are out there, please let us know you're still alive. I'd hate to think that you had another beef stew incident or worse yet, that you have joined a commune or something.

-CP

A Little Introduction.

I am sure everyone is curious to get to know the people responsible for this blog – so here we are:

Andy “The Optimistic Intern” Rutz

Andy has had an off and on relationship with SGW. He will soon be a graduate of Notre Dame University. Since he won’t be drinking this semester, he will surely graduate magna cum laude. Andy’s hobbies are: watching Anchor Man, looking up trivia on IMDb, and creating mind-blowing renderings of even the most mundane buildings.





John “I Hate Everything” Sugrue

John has been at SGW way too long. When he is not knocking people off of their bicycles or boycotting the latest street fair, he is enjoying himself with a beer-in-hand at Wrigley. His hobbies are: space elevators, sticking up for President Bush, and making cynicism into an art form.





Pete “I don’t need your affection and you ain’t getting any of mine” Conry

Pete has been at SGW for about a year and never tires of the architectural challenges that the office offers. He is a deck design genius and never resorts to “standard deck lighting tricks”. His hobbies are: deck design, deck building, deck critique, and putting down President Bush.