John's Dilemma

John has spent a bit of time out of the office the past few days. It is apparent what is going on as his face has been swollen like a balloon for days. He has had visits to dentists and subsequently, the doctor and no one could figure out what was going on until today.

John has a conjoined twin. This fetus has sat dormant for John’s life, implanted in his cheek, and for some unexplainable reason; it is finally becoming “active”. This is nothing to laugh at and is not a subject solely for cartoon sitcoms. It is not an uncommon problem but it is a little odd that is has manifested itself in the facial area.

Some doctor’s have surmised that similar conditions are psychologically related that the "minor twin" begins growth as manifestation of a "host's" drammatic loss of a close friend or lover. In this case, it is obvious that John is suffering from the departure of Pete from our office on a level that many of us just can’t understand. True, he has been a little “down” lately but none of us would have suspected just how close Pete and John were.

Due to the severity of the situation, John is currently undergoing “removal” of the twin. After removal, a drain will be placed through John’s cheek, followed by minor cosmetic surgery to disguise that drain as a mole. Pro-life activists are already getting wind of the removal process and have started picketing the office. If you ask me, they are getting carried away. I hope things don’t get out of hand. If only they could understand John’s pain.

Pete, Frolicking In The Wilderness, Checks In . . .

A little update on what Pete has been up to since he left us here at the office . . . We received a letter today with no return address, but it was signed, "Lovingly yours, Peter" (followed by excessive hearts & smiley faces). Enclosed in the envelope was the attached photo - Cowboy Pete & his new 'friends.' He says that they met one night amidst the sheep & under the stars at 'Brokeback Mountain,' and ever since, their lives together have been sheer bliss. This photo, however, was taken as they prepared for hijinks involving some rival cowboys, and he apologized that they weren't "wearing their happy faces."

He asked that we send his profound love to the office, and extended a personal invite out to John to come visit "the boys on the ranch" and take a ride with them into the sunset.

A Little Introduction.

I am sure everyone is curious to get to know the people responsible for this blog – so here we are:

Andy “The Optimistic Intern” Rutz

Andy has had an off and on relationship with SGW. He will soon be a graduate of Notre Dame University. Since he won’t be drinking this semester, he will surely graduate magna cum laude. Andy’s hobbies are: watching Anchor Man, looking up trivia on IMDb, and creating mind-blowing renderings of even the most mundane buildings.





John “I Hate Everything” Sugrue

John has been at SGW way too long. When he is not knocking people off of their bicycles or boycotting the latest street fair, he is enjoying himself with a beer-in-hand at Wrigley. His hobbies are: space elevators, sticking up for President Bush, and making cynicism into an art form.





Pete “I don’t need your affection and you ain’t getting any of mine” Conry

Pete has been at SGW for about a year and never tires of the architectural challenges that the office offers. He is a deck design genius and never resorts to “standard deck lighting tricks”. His hobbies are: deck design, deck building, deck critique, and putting down President Bush.