Showing posts with label Chicago. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chicago. Show all posts

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Studio Gang Bang

As you are all aware, we here at LWoA take architecture and architectural criticism very seriously. Not as seriously as the goings on in the life of Jessica Biel, but seriously none the less. It is in this role that we must talk about the one thing that everyone, except us apparently, in Chicago is talking about. Of course we speak of the great and powerful AQUA! If you have not seen this piece of architectural genius please take a moment and check it out.
http://www.lakeshoreeast.com/aqua/

Welcome back. If you are like us you surely enjoyed the fun water effects as your mouse moved across the rendering. Graphic designers have it made, don’t they? Back to the issue at hand, the state of architectural critique today. If you have been keeping up with the writings and pontifications of Blair Kamin, Lee Bey, Stanley Tigerman, and countless others, then you know that they have a soft spot for Ms. Gang. In fact, the most recent article by Kamin is a borderline obscene overture and seems to go well beyond a passing admiration for her work. As people continue to spew the virtues of Aqua and its creator we must ask, does everyone want to take part in a Jeanne Gangbang? Don’t get me wrong, Aqua is a fine residential tower and will probably look pretty good on the skyline, but really is it the piece of earth shattering brilliance it is made out to be by Blair? Or is he so infatuated by Jeannie that he forgot to put his glasses on and look at the building? Hey if you want to steal a kiss from her and hope she calls you in the morning that’s great, but be honest about it, don’t hide behind “honest architectural review”?
Let’s take a moment to look at Aqua and see if maybe Blair and Stan the Man are correct and it is the pearl in the sea of crap that is residential development in Chicago. We have seen the models, looked at the website, checked out the unit plans, and done the things we assume any good architecture critic would do and come to one easy conclusion: the balconies are cool. They are balconies, right? It's hard to tell because they have yet to be depicted as such, with mandatory guardrails and the corresponding grills and crap that people pile on them. Anyway, the shape of the "balcony" is interesting and makes for a very nice looking façade. No one is arguing against that. Then again, as one noted observer points out: if it were not for the building’s name and all of those flashy effects on the website one might think that this building has nothing to do with water and instead that, like an old tree, a family of fungus is growing from it. Perhaps this dual imagery is its strength, a sign of genius? But we digress.
The rest of the building is the problem. What’s that? You did not realize there was a building behind those balconies? Of course not, because not a word has been written about the actual space inside the building or the earth shattering new concept in residential living you will be purchasing when you buy your aqua unit. Why is this? Well, if you wanted to sleep with the hot girl you would focus on complimenting and ignore the criticism also. Is a building wonderful just because you convinced the builder to bend a little steel to make the concrete formwork curved instead of straight? We bet this works for most people. Even we know absolutely nothing about what Jessica Biel is thinking. We just know she makes us stop breathing with her captivating beauty. It’s a start, but perhaps there could be more. There must be something about modern condos that would be better if we rethought them a little.

It is also unclear what happens where this building meets the ground. Obviously Kamin’s fetish ends at about the knees. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a beautiful set of feet (God what we’d give for a nice close-up of Jessica’s feet) but we haven’t seen much detail of what Aqua holds in store. Most published images seem to focus on the upper three-quarters of the building. I guess it doesn’t really matter because anything might be considered “fine” in the cavernous mess that passes for a streetscape at Lakeshore East. It looks like a massive curved canteliever over a non-descript storefront wall. This may be an overture to contextualism in relation to the rest of the area but maybe we should reserve judgement for when we can actually see the real thing.
There is another confusing aspect to how this building has been depicted. Most images show this thing sitting majestically at the edge of Grant Park. We went for a visit and though you can see it from the park, it doesn’t seem to have the dramatic site that the renderings promise. In fact, it seems to suffer a bit because it is tucked within the development as opposed to being on a prominent edge. This seems fine for the fungus-laden tree trunk imagery but not for “Aqua”. Why was a site somewhere else in the development not chosen? If the edge of Grant Park is impossible, then perhaps something closer to the river?

Regardless of how this might seem, all of this is not a knock at Aqua or The Gang, but points to a problem with the state of architectural critique in the city. Let’s celebrate the cool building mass we will get from aqua when it’s finished, but aren’t critics being paid to look at the whole thing, not just the model? There is not much innovative about the floor plan, that’s for sure. Looks exactly like the stuff inside all the boring towers going up. It should take a little more than a curved balcony to make something as special as it seems this building is.
Let’s also look at how this thing is situated within the entire Lakeshore East development. So why didn’t it get located on the river-side of the development or in a more conspicuous spot altogether. You would think it would deserve a decent site since it is also supposedly architect-developer Lowenberg’s swan song. It is definitely nicer than his typical productions but frankly, we deserve something decent from him as this guy has been leaving loads of crap along the streets of Chicago for years.
Unfortunately, the issues we raise seem to escape criticism. Step up and look at the big picture Blair, its OK, she will probably still like you. This gushing over architects seems to be a prevalent theme within Chicago architectural criticism circles. What seems to be particularly odd is that all of the most recent gushing is going on over an architect that has very few built structures and over a building that is barely half-constructed. Kamin himself should know the pitfalls of this as he took a particularly strong stance against this phenomenon in a 1997 Tribune article; written when everyone was jumping on the Bilbao bandwagon. Isn't he falling into the same trap by participating in the Studio Gangbang? So that may be our problem: we at LWoA expect a little more form our critics. Aqua is nice, but it is nothing special beyond the façade. Maybe that is our problem, sadly way back when we learned to be architects someone told us that buildings are not just objects to be looked at from across the street, but spaces to be inhabited and experienced. Maybe we are wrong and we should just enjoy the cool form we will get to see, especially since no one at the LWoA staff can afford to live there and have their own wavy balcony. But no, we expect more, just as we will not sit back and simply enjoy Jessica Biel in all her hotness, but rather debate her ability as an actress. We want it all and can not simply over look the flaws in buildings or hot women (although it is a lot easier with the women).

Wait a minute! We have just reviewed the floor plans one more time and we were wrong, the building truly is a brilliant design. Look closely, see it…..the islands in the kitchen have an angled side, they are not standard rectangles, now that is innovative. That clinches it, We were wrong, the critics are correct, sign us up for the studio gangbang!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

DCAP Costumer Satisfaction Survey. Yes, please.

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CHICAGO DEPARTMENT OF CONSTRUCTION AND PERMITS
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION SURVEY
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You have recently been issued a permit from the City of Chicago Department
of Construction and Permits, please take a few minutes to help us serve you better by completing this customer satisfaction survey. Any customer identification information will be kept confidential.

Your responses will be combined with others who complete this survey and used to address customer satisfaction.

CLICK REPLY TO THIS EMAIL AND FILL OUT THE BELOW.

1. Please check the category that best fits your role in obtaining a permit
from the City of Chicago.

Building Owner__ Developer___ Contractor__ Architect_X_ Engineer__ Expeditor__
Other (Please specify)_________________________________________

2. Please check the category that best describes your permit (s).

Electrical__ Residential General Repairs__ New Commercial__ "Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning"__ Plumbing__ New Residential__ Commercial General
Repairs__ Other (Please specify)__COMMERCIAL INTERIOR BUILD OUT (it's going to be awesome despite your meddling attempts to fuck with us)


3. Please describe the permit process used to obtain your permit?

Easy Permit Process__
Self-Certified Online_X - you know, the one that is supposed to be fast and easy....
Fast Track Online__
Standard Plan Review__
Developer Services__
Neighborhood Permit Center: (select location)
South-95th Street__ Southwest-Kedzie Avenue__
North-Addison__ Downtown-City Hall, Rm. 104__

4. Please describe your level of familiarity with the DCAP permit process.
New to the process/First permit__
Somewhat new to the process/Second permit__
Somewhat experienced/More than five permits_X - DCAP makes me wish I went to medical school.
Very experienced/More than ten permits_

5. Please rate the following using a scale of 1 to 5,
with 1 being poor and 5 being excellent -I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!
Please mark N/A if item is not applicable

Ease in obtaining an appointment_2 - BECAUSE I ACTUALLY GOT ONE. I LOVE HOW THE APPOINTMENT FORM MUST BE FAXED AND WHEN I CALL TO VERIFY, THE OH SO HELPFUL DCAP EMPLOYEE ACTS LIKE THEY ARE GIVING ME THEIR REMAINING KIDNEY JUST BY SPEAKING WITH ME.

Ease in applying for a permit_2 - BECAUSE IT USED TO ACTUALLY BE HARDER! DO THEY DESIGN THEIR SITE AND PROCESS TO BE MORE DIFFICULT ON PURPOSE? SOME SORT OF TWISTED BUREAUCRATIC WAY TO TAKE REVENGE ON THE REST OF US FOR NOT HAVING TO WORK THERE .

Ease in submitting permit information online for Self-Certification - 2 -
NOW I REALIZE THAT A BUILDING IS A COMPLICATED AND FAIRLY PERMANENT STRUCTURE BUT WHEN YOU ASK FOR ARCANE INFORMATION ABOUT EXHAUST FAN RPM AND TOTAL FUEL OIL CONSUMPTION OVER THE LIFESPAN OF THE EQUIPMENT, QUESTIONS MY ENGINEERS DON'T KNOW, THE PRODUCTS SPECIFICATIONS DON'T LIST, WHEN YOU ASK ME TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS BEFORE I SUBMIT FOR PERMIT, WELL....IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF.
DCAP, WE'RE THE TROLL. ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREE.


Simplicity of the permit process_1 UM, FUCK YOU!

Convenience of the permit process_1 WOW, I WISH I COULD PISS ON YOUR FACE.


Friendliness, helpfulness and courteousness of neighborhood permit center
staff__ N/A_X- THANKFULLY I DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THESE ODDITIES OF HUMANKIND.

Friendliness, helpfulness and courteousness of customer service staff_3
N/A__ ONE LADY ACTUALLY SMILED AT ME. ONCE.


Friendliness, helpfulness and courteousness of reviewers_3 N/A__SELF CERT PROJECTS DON'T REQUIRE REVIEW, THIS MADE THEM ALL MORE FRIENDLY.

Timeliness of reviews_1 N/A__STILL TOOK TO LONG FOR THEM TO DO NOTHING.

Consistency, clarity and thoroughness of reviews__ N/A_

Approach of reviewers (positive and helpful)_3 N/A__MY PROJECT MANAGER WAS KIND OF HELPFUL. HE CAN LIVE.

DCAP staff was very knowledge-able about permit process/building code_4
N/A__HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK IN THE BOOK! THE CITY SHOULD HIRE MORE LIKE HIM.


Speed in obtaining the permit_1 N/A__THE CITY EQUIVALENT OF WHAT SUPPOSED TO BE A THREE HOUR CRUISE. I MADE A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIT OUT OF COCONUTS IN THE TIME IT TOOK TO GET OFF THE PERMIT APPLICATION ISLAND. (too much Gilligan?)

DCAP Web site was useful, informative and easy to navigate_1 WHEN YOU NEED A SITE TO EXPLAIN HOW TO NAVIGATE YOUR SITE, IT IS NOT USEFUL, INFORMATIVE OR EASY TO NAVIGATE, IT'S EVIL.

DCAP hours of operation _1 N/A__I JUST HATE DCAP SO MUCH THAT I THINK THEY SHOULD BE OPEN 24 HOURS OUT OF SPITE.

6. How quickly did you receive your permit after submitting an application?

Same day__ Three days__ One week__ One month__
Other (Please specify)_____FIVE WEEKS - WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING IF THERE WERE THE REGULAR PERMIT PROCESS BUT LIKE I SAID, IT WAS SELF CERT. SELF CERT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FAST, ONE WEEK FAST. WE PAY EXTRA FOR THAT SHIT.

7. Please rate the following using a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being poor and
5 being excellent.

Satisfaction with the level of professional service at DCAP__2 I THOUGHT MY PROJECT MANAGER WAS GOOD, SO HE BRINGS THIS SCORE UP FROM THE NEGATIVES.

Satisfaction with the permit process (simple and easy to follow)_2 MY EARLIER COMMENTS ON THIS ASIDE, WHEN A PROCESS CHANGES EVERY YEAR OR EVEN EVERY FEW MONTHS, IT MAKES THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE ANYTHING BUT SIMPLE AND EASY TO FOLLOW. THERE WERE THREE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE PERMIT APPLICATION! WHICH ONE SHOULD I USE? I FELT LIKE I WAS PICKING FOR MY LIFE, LIKE THE WRONG CHOICE WOULD END IN ME RUNNING THROUGH A CAVE WITH A GIANT BOULDER OF STINGING SCORPIONS CHASING ME AND I DON'T OWN A BULLWHIP! RUN INDIE, RUN!

oh and expediters. The best way to get a permit fast seems to be by hiring expediters to move it through the process. Doesn't it seem odd that a service has sprouted up solely for the purpose of waiting in line at DCAP? Nothing against them as people, but expediters don't know anything about construction, why are they required? because DCAP permitting process is so fucking slow, unprofessional, and needlessly complex.

8. In what areas do you feel DCAP performed well?

The project manager was reasonable and professional.


9. What else can DCAP do to make the permit process more convenient?

The separation of the Zoning department, separate review process
caused significant time wasted waiting in their lines. The zoning
examiners were prohibitive to a speedy process. I would like to see
the DCAP project manager expedite the zoning review, act as the
interface between myself and the Zoning department.
This project was a Self Cert. It was unclear as to which of three
different permit applications available online we were supposed to
use. This confusion caused the zoning people to repeal their approval
due to irregular application documents. This was infuriating as the
project is interior work only and doesn't change use, no zoning
issues. This caused a nine day delay in permit being issued. CAN WE HAVE THE ENTIRE ZONING DEPARTMENT STAFF LIQUIDATED? WHO DO I SPEAK TO ABOUT THAT?


10. What else can we do to make the DCAP Web site more helpful to you?

The site is slow, poorly organized and has too much information is on
each page. Make it clear what documents are required for each permit
process / type. Make it clear or only have one permit application
available. Be able to schedule appointments online - NO FAX. Be able
to submit drawings in PDF format.

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These are my thoughts on a recent experience with the Chicago Department of Construction and Permits. These are my feelings, however unrefined, and don't necessarily represent the feelings of the LWoA staff...at least not at this very second. Maybe now. Or now.

I'll end with a story. Once I was working on a prospective project in Palm Springs, CA. I walked into their immaculate and empty building department. A lovely woman stood with a smile and said to me, "Welcome to Palm Springs Building Department. How can I help you get a permit today?" Bless her. RIP Sonny Bono.